And then the Academic prophet of the MERCER spake saying:
Woe unto you students, you brood of couch potatoes! For you spend too much time on the Facebook and not enough time on the school books! You shall ask your friends for help but you will find none, for they have all spent their time the same way that you have!
You shall ask your teachers for help, but you will not find them and they shall not answer their e-mails because they are busy writing your exams and grading your last projects and essays, by which you shall be made aware of your shortcomings!
The student body groans and cries out for summer vacation, but they shall find the days dragging and their hearts will ache for freedom yet they shall find themselves lacking. And they shall pack their suitcases and clean their dorms for the first time since they moved in so that they may be ready to leave as soon as possible, but this will only increase their anxieties because in their haste they have packed away the things they used to use to amuse themselves when they thought they had free time but really didn't.
You sorry college students! You shall be cursed with sleep deprivation, impatience, and lack of motivation. You shall turn to your caffienated idols for help but they will not heed your call. Instead they shall exact brutal tolls on your body and mind and shall drive you furhter into senioritis.
But fear not, for your exams shall pass quickly and you will soon find yourselves heading to home and to jobs, internships, and graduate status. Go forth and procrastinate no more.
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